It has been 22 days since the hubby left the state to start his new life in Texas. It has been a long 22 days between the rat poison scare, preparing for hurricane Irma, enduring 5 days without power and then cleaning up from the whole ordeal once the power returned. We’ve had about 5 days of normalcy now I think these past 3 weeks has finally caught up to me. It has not been easy but it also wasn’t hard for me to get motivated, get up, and just get things done. That said, this weekend has been the toughest on me psychologically. I ran out of my ADHD pills early last week and now I’m struggling. I haven’t been able to cut myself any slack either so I have been beating myself up non-stop. I look around and all I see is a mountain of things I still haven’t taken care of.
I interviewed for a job a couple days before the hurricane hit and I heard last week that they want to hire me. There has been some delay in getting an offer out to me but I expect it will be coming early this coming week. That is great news for us and provides financial relief but it still adds extra pressure on me to get a lot of work completed before I begin the job.
Now I’m trying to gather my thoughts and make a plan, a thing that rarely has worked for me on its own especially when I feel a thick cloud of uncertainty and confusion in my mind. Again, a thing that happens most often when I have run out of my ADHD medication. I regard my need for this medication with the same disdain as I feel towards my need for glasses. Glasses used to be optional or me. Now I have 2 pairs of them. One for close up work, another transition bifocals. At any rate, it’s tough to create a plan and direction for myself when I lack direction.